It feels rude when Idol refuses to play in it's alloted time slot. Half the viewers are watching Amazing Race and the other half are watching America's Next Top Model. This year I went with the models and I don't like being interrupted by Idol stretching out their commercial airtime sales. I'm just peeking during the first half hour because I'm actually watching America's Next Top Models. The last ten minutes of Idol results are really more than enough. Maybe they'll use part of the hour to apologize for the lousy themes and the even worse performances we've been subjected to the last few weeks. The models are swirling and sashaying at church. Miss Jay could do a lot for the Idols. Some of them have trouble just walking across the stage and he could fix that fast. The Idols don't need the Models added drama. Or maybe they do. The singing hasn't been doing it for me and none of them are that good looking. The model girls are crumping while they sell shoes. It's harder than walking apparently. Maybe a crossover where the models walk while the Idols sing? Maybe not.

There is lots of back and forth between Ryan and the judges, Ryan and Simon. Simon is tickling Paula under the table as if she needed any more stimulation of any sorts. It is the group number for the Idols and I'm back to Models. Jade poured her drinking water on her teeshirt during the photo shoot, so she rocked according to Mr. Jay. You can never be sure how things are going to be taken or exploited on this show. There seems to be a lot of personal whims involved. It's all subjective, just like Idol, only the four Model judges are deciding who goes each week instead of 40 million Idol votes phoned in by who knows how many Idol viewers. Everyone is on commercial break now. The mockingbird outside my window is drowning out the TV anyhow. It is singing every phrase it knows at full volume. It's spring and I know just how he feels. It is judging time on Top Models. The payoff or payback depending on your perspective. Mom and Dad time on Idol. Eh. Unnecessary information. Nnenna is a chemist, but she can't figure out how to turn in place without moving her feet. More unnecessary information.

Next week is Rod Stewart week on Idol. Good for the boys at least. He's sung everything, so it's a big catalog to choose from. Rod is coaching the kids and perfoming on the results show. The usual format. There is way too much time on Idol. They are jawing and extending and wasting all kinds of airtime. It's just fluff to get to the commercials anyhow. Tyra only has seven photos for eight girls. Someone is going home, just like Idol. The bottom two girls on Models are both pretty, but someone has to go. Ryan is still counting down the Idols and BS'ing with every contestant. Lots of time to waste yet. More seacresting. It's a long slide home tonight.

Top Models and Amazing Race are over and only three people are safe on Idol. Why bother? I haven't missed a thing. The top row is safe tonight. There is a pattern there if you cared or bothered investigating. Still, twenty four more minutes and nothing has been decided yet. Elliott is the first in the bottom three. They are asking him to sing again. Either it's a new format and the bottom three are all singing or Elliott is going home. Who knows and who cares? What a waste of valuable airtime. I guess since Queen doesn't have a singer any longer they are using the kids to fill the time.

More seacresting. Is Elliot out or is he in? We need Heidi Klum to step in and wrap this thing up. Fashion has no mercy and neither does American Idol. Nor little dignity. These all night camp meeting results shows are like cotton candy only without the delicious flavor of sugar. They are fluff, stuffing, feather fillers. Ace is crying and is in the bottom three. Now they are making him sing that horrible song again. Where is Top Models when you need it? I'm watching Lost while Ace sings. I just can't revisit that again so soon after last night's trainwreck. Keep on singing “we will we will mock you.” More commercials. The director knew what he was doing when he cut that performance short. I've never seen Lost and I'm not starting now. Life is confusing enough for me already.

Bucky and Paris are the last two waiting to find out who is in the bottom three. Paris is bawling after her family video or maybe she thinks she is leaving. Bucky is the last one in the bottom three. Elliott, Ace, and Bucky. Bucky is singing "Fat Bottomed Girls" again, but I'm not believing it tonight either. He should sing it to Paula, but he is avoiding looking her way. Come on. The song is about honesty. It's not those skinny models making the rocking world go round, although they do show up on the sex videos occasionally. Leaving tonight is Bucky. Ace is super lucky once again. I was thinking Bucky's raspy voice would be good for Rod Stewart too, but I guess it wasn't in the cards. I have a feeling I'll be seeing Bucky and Rocky around town here in Nashville and I hope so. Good luck Bucky. On to the next dramatic, thematic, climactic edition of America's Next Top Amazing Idol.