They should have called this Ladies' Night because it is not the stuff men want to hear during prime time. It's Andrea Bocelli and it's about romance and the World's Greatest Love Songs. It's what makes the world go round I suppose, but I'm not looking forward to this evening. Maybe I'll have my usual luck and be wrong and everyone will be great. Here goes nothing. Ryan is wearing a shirt with lavender stripes with a baby blue tie. Is that a signal? I was never very good at remembering what stood for what. His suit jacket has a rather wide lapel. It's all mixed up. "Bocelli has bridged the gap between classical and Pop" and we're told numerous times how good he is. It's all a bit boring if you are not a fan. The rehearsal video is nearly laughable. Andrea never opens his mouth because David Foster the producer is obviously in charge in the studio. I'm still bored.
Katharine is singing “I Who Have Nothing” written by David Foster and sung by pre-crack Whitney. She gets to sing a bit of opera with Andrea. She's got on a nice yellow dress and her hair looks great. I'm no fan of Whitney songs myself. They were overplayed on the radio the first time around. Katharine is showing control and ability. She is doing a good job expressing emotion, even though she looks angry at times. She is still the best singer in this competition unless someone can top that. Randy disses her and says the song was bigger than her. Paula is trying to act like she knows what she is talking about, but it sounds like more blather and goes off on a wacky tangent. Simon tells her it is too comparative to do a Whitney song, because you will always lose and she wasn't good enough. Wow. What a bunch of critics. It almost looked rehearsed, only Paula forgot her lines as usual.
Elliott is singing the first song he sang at the AI audition. It is a Donnie Hathaway song, “Song for You”. It's a great song. David Foster is a bigger jerk than Simon, but he probably knows his stuff. He wants to be boss. They should have said this is David Foster night with minimal comments from Andrea. I loved the Leon Russel version of this song. Elliot is a good singer and this is probably his best performance. Randy didn't like the arrangement and neither did I. It was too halting and interrupted the pretty melody. Paula is having a tearful breakdown. Honest to God, it is just like drunken Otis on a crying jag in Mayberry Jail on Saturday night. Something must have kicked in early or her cocktail combo is off. Simon is laughing while looking around for security, but he loves Elliott. Where is the show focus tonight? Are there medics on the set? Will Paula be able to continue?
Kellie is next. She is singing “Unchained Melody”, “kinda doing the Leann Rimes version”. She needs direction like David Foster offers, a big push in the right direction. Her hair is straight out of the Tammy movies from the 60's, which is about the era this song is from. There is no denying that Kellie has talent and a natural ability to sing, but I don't think she has enough “stuff” to ever be an artist. She can be trained like a dog I suppose, but that dog won't hunt. She would be a porch layer. She never closes her eyes when she sings and is totally unaware of what is going on. She doesn't connect to the words because she is concentrating on too many things at once. None of the judges liked it either. Once again, she deserves the bottom three, but will it happen? Pickings are getting slim and it's time to pick Pickler off.
Paris is singing “Memories” because she is only 17 and has memories, but no love feelings yet. Andrea loved her voice. She does have a rich voice. It reminds me of a young Gladys Knight more than Barbara. David suggested that she not sing at full tilt the entire song which was good advice. She works this song like a pro and finishes it as good as I've ever heard. All the judges comment that they liked her voice, but Simon thought is sounded a little old fashioned. Hey, it's an old fashioned love song! What's it supposed to sound like? Who chose this old fashioned theme anyhow?
Taylor is singing “Just Once”. Andrea thinks he is interesting and David thinks he can score big with this song. David's a good producer, even if he is Type A. He thinks Taylor has the most charisma. This song seems to slow Taylor down to a boring level, but the chorus is the money part of the song. It's the least Taylor-like song he's ever sung and the more he fits the mold of Idol, the less I like him. I hope they don't tame his beast too much, because that is where his talent lies. They should make him more Taylor-like and less groomed. It was very boring and Simon said he looked uptight tonight. It was like they took Taylor away and replaced him with a reserved, yet boring Taylor look-a-like. Maybe he has a twin also?
Chris is singing “Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman” by Bryan Adams. The rehearsal is odd. They make Chris lay down to sing so he uses his diaphragm instead of his throat. He is perfoming with two acoustic guitars out front. He has a good voice but it keeps getting lost in the synthesized strings. He is singing it almost just like Bryan Adams and manages to get that pained/strained look on his face. It was pretty damn good if you like that sort of thing, but I don't like sappy love songs anyhow. The judges loved it and him and so do the audience. Chris is probably more contemporary than the other singers in this year's competition and could easily win based on that.
This show is one more dreadful theme down the line. Please send the Pickler girl home and let's move on. I can't take another week of total disconnect. There's more to singing than getting the words right. And how about some pop songs next week. Songs you can snap your fingers to or Songs you can shuffle your feet to. Anything besides these songs that bore one to sleep. It is the sleepiest Idol I've ever watched.
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