Better Than Ambien!
Good Morning Jokers! Well it is finally coming to the end of summer, BB is winding down and soon there will be a chill in the air... no I am not talking about fall, I am talking about Jen having to vote for anyone left in that house to win! So before I start my recap, I would just like to say what a pleasure it has been to write these weekly pearls for all of my friends at JokersUpdates.com. This really is the best site for reality tv watching/posting/chatting .... hmm wapochatting! Ok, on the recap. I should forewarn you, since the house is a bit more boring these days, this recap might contain a bit more editorializing than you are used to from me. But I will keep my comments to brackets so you know what things actually happened and what is just me rambling on.
ED is the first one up and moving, around 6am. [I think he really enjoys his morning time alone, no one else awake and he can smoke and spit all he wants without judgment or recriminations!] Dani is up soon and mentions over hearing a conversation between Jess and Eric while they were in the hot tub and how it was a "could ya' not!" moment. They make breakfast burritos and talk game. Dani says they should offer to save Jameka but only if she makes no deals with Eric, only has deals with them, votes the way they want and promises not to put both of them up at final four should she win HoH. [Why not ask for her first born child as well?] They talk about previous seasons, Dani thinks the season with the Ex's would have been better had they used people who had restraining orders against each other... ED says "yeah, rapists" and Dani goes off about his always going to the extreme. [You only now figured this out?] They do a little bashing of their fellow hgs. They hope the food competitions are done for the year. Dani and ED talk about the twist in the game and how bad they are, they laugh. Dani says she wishes things would speed up, she is tired of sitting around. Dani says if there were going to be a double eviction it would have been last week.
BB announces "Houseguests, did you know there 116 camera windows in the Big Brother house?" Dani thanks BB and says she did not know that and that is a lot of windows to clean. Zach and Dani talk about all the other fun facts that BB has told them about the house and BB. Zach and Dani lay out in the BY tanning. Jess is inside packing up her stuff in prep for the live eviction. They get placed on inside lockdown. Eric and ED are still sleeping. Dani works on her nail polish, Jameka and Jess sit at the table, Jess is painting a thong bikini on one of the rats from the PoV competition. Lockdown ends around 1pm. Dani heads back outside to tan some more, Jess and Jameka stay at the table in the kitchen. Jameka makes a quesadilla for lunch. Jess and Jameka head to the workout room, talk about the show on Thursday, what to wear, whether BB flies them to NYC for the early show interview, etc. ED and Eric finally wake up around 1:30pm. Dani tells ED the other three are acting weird. She complains about the wake up music today. Jess, Jameka and Eric wonder where the sequester is. Eric hopes there are no cameras so there is no evidence for the court case when he punches Jen in the face. Jameka and Jess decide that Eric is the guinea pig of the house, he will try anything to make the girls laugh. They decide they would make him try anything so long as it doesn't cause him pain.
Everyone seems pretty bored. Jess is cramping, the female sort, Eric wants playing cards or something from BB to keep them amused. Eric wonders about asking BB for Yahtzee. They talk about the temperatures in the different bedrooms. Zach is sleeping. ED likes the bikini Jess painted on the rat. Jess ready for a nap, but doing laundry instead. Eric continues to reassure Jess that all is fine, he says ED just stresses about whoever is leaving but he thinks it will be fine and Jess will be staying. They talk about HoH, the rest of the game, winning at the end, etc. They decide if either of them is sent packing, Zach will get their vote at the end. ED gets called to the DR. Eric discusses getting circumcised [at least I think so... the penie poo getting snipped?]. Jess seems a little embarrassed by the discussion. Eric gets called to the DR. Zach is up and out in the BY talking to ED. ED wants Zach to say hello to Vincent in his blog, and send a message out to Janie from his blog. Zach wonders how much he has to write, wonders if his parents will know about the blog or how to find it, he seems sure his brother's will know and tell his parents. Dani gets called to the DR but is not ready, asks BB to call someone else so they call in Jess. The hgs are recording their farewell videos in preparation for tomorrow's eviction show. They talk about hating the farewell messages and how the DR coaches them on the goodbyes. Jess ends up very upset about her DR session, said she almost cried, Eric said he felt like crying. Jess mentions to Eric about Dani slipping and saying there would only be three people playing for HoH, so Jess suspects she is going home.
Eric talks to Jess about asking Dani outright if Jess is leaving, so they can savor their last few days together, and prepare for it mentally. Eric continues to try to console Jess and cheer her up. Eric suggests that Jess talk with ED herself, might help if she talked to him directly. [Eric is right of course, he can only do so much on her behalf]. Jess says she is not taking pics with Zach tomorrow, if she does, she will look retarded in every pic. Eric goes to speak with Dani about Jess. Dani reassures Eric that Jess is safe then turns the conversation to whining about Jameka and her attitude. Eric mentions to Dani that Jameka was upset that Eric said his vote would be to keep Jess. Dani says it is to hot and she is going inside, reiterates that Jess is safe and Eric thanks her for the chat. Eric is called to the DR. Zach tells Dani to ask for water if she goes to the DR, she tells Zach not to tell her what to do. [He's not the boss of her!] and she doubts she will be called in anyway. Dani and Zach eat burgers that Zach made on the grill and then just chit chat between them while Jameka takes the trash to the SR. Zach heads up to the HoH, Dani does up the dishes and Jameka is fixing herself something to eat.
Dani rehashes her conversation with Eric to ED. She says she slipped up about the three playing HoH and had to cover, thinks she was successful. She says she feels bad it will be all last minute and stuff, voting out Jess that is. She doesn't feel bad about Jess/Eric because of what he did to Nick, she doesn't owe him anything. [Completely forgets the part where she voted out Nick as well and that she KNEW Nick was leaving]. ED thinks he can work a deal with Eric if Jameka refuses to work with them. Dani has her doubts about Eric making deals with them after they vote out Jess. ED goes out to smoke, Jess goes to DR. Jameka is eating, Eric is repainting the rat and Dani is up in the HoH with Zach. Dani and Zach talk about how Jameka is acting like a brat and Jess is a bratty princess. Eric tells Jess that Dani reassured him that Jess is staying. Eric asks Jameka if outside the house, she is not in a relationship, is there one guy from BB8 she would consider having sex with and she says no, they are missing the main component, they have to have swagger. Jess says her uterus feels like it is eating itself, Eric asks "Exactly where IS the uterus?" [Could he possibly be more of a geek?] They are all making ice creams and ED seems concerned that all the vanilla ice cream is being wasted. ED and Dani talk about who is the worst complainer, Dani thinks it is Eric, ED thinks it is Dani. [I am with ED on this one]. ED asks Zach to put 1-5-3 to Janelle from him [ED] and Dani gets upset, apparently feeling ED is infringing upon her copyright of 1-5-3 as a term of affection. [It belongs to her and Nick]. Dani complains about having to clean up messes, like ED throwing milk at Eric.
Eric says he wishes Regis would drop by the house, Dani says she is not a big fan, ED says f*ck that guy. ED picking at his teeth with his finger, Dani comments that he does it all the time and it bugs her, she says there is floss in the bathroom. Eric heads to the DR to get his meds, asks if anyone wants anything. Dani asks for something to make her hallucinate or sleep, ED asks for Xanax. Dani wonders if people are getting bored watching the show, Eric says definitely. [He is right, grass growing is more fascinating, and yet, we continue to watch in hope]. Dani complains about ED's smoking and they argue about where he should smoke. Dani says she heard Kail got a divorce so she could be with ED at the wrap party. ED jumping and flipping into the pool, comes up spitting and coughing, Dani says don't drowned yourself. He says singing underwater is not a good idea. Zach is drinking beer alone in the kitchen, Dani changing clothes, ED finishes smoking and heads inside, Jess and Eric in the hot tub, Jameka on the couch outside visiting with them. Dani says she wishes the hgs could vote people back in, they could not be evicted but would not be playing for the money either. ED asks who she would want back in and she says Nick, Mike and Joe. ED points out Nick would be for her and she says Nick would be for all of them. ED argues that if Nick returned her and Nick would disappear to the bedroom and just vanish like they did before, they argue about it a bit then Dani says ok Nick for me, Mike and Joe for the rest of you.
Jameka is opening a bottle a wine. They got ten beers as well, Zach already drank one, which annoys Eric. Jameka asks Eric what he would do if he won the half million and he says pay off bills, pay rent, maybe do one big thing like a family vacation. Jameka says she would take off work for 2-3 days. The house is divided, Jameka, Jess and Eric vs. ED, Dani and Zach, as far as who people are talking to and hanging out with. Dani asks Zach to put in his blog that Dani keeps talking about her and Nick visiting the Serengeti. Around 10 all the hgs are outside now, sort of awkward silence. They talk about who actually did the mustard thing. Dani says even though Nick denied it, she thinks it was him. They wonder if maybe it was Kail. ED, Dani and Zach head inside and talk about how the others hate them now. Dani wonders why Jameka hates her so much, "What have I done to her?" [She apparently doesn't feel being voted out is reason to dislike someone]. Jameka and Jess and Eric talk about how the first eight weeks were fun. ED wonders if the most hated hg is from their season or a previous season. Dani suggests ED go ask Eric, he would know. ED goes outside and asks Eric. Eric says collectively, the Nerd Herd or any one of them, the entire cast of the X Factor season. Eric says maybe Jen. Eric says maybe if some of the others had stayed longer they might have had a shot. Jess says she doesn't think Jen was hated, ED asks if she is drunk. Eric says he doesn't think Amber will be well received because she was probably viewed as crying all the time and only hanging out with Dustin. ED says that Amber thinks she will be back for All-Stars because she is so loved. Eric says maybe. After ED heads back inside, Jameka says she thinks ED is hated by her family. Eric comments that Dani is like Janelle, but Dani complains and Janelle was a b*tch.
Dani is cleaning and complaining that whoever is on the block never cleans. She says everyone spills stuff and makes messes, never cleans and then denies it. ED says Eric is the worst. They wonder what their homes look like, Eric and Zach. Dani tells ED to look behind the waffle iron, there is oil everywhere, and Eric thinks that is clean. Dani is getting very upset about the cleaning thing. Jameka, Jess and Eric are talking about how they cannot trust anything ED says. Jameka does not like how ED acts like everything is all up to him. Jameka and Jess both agree that neither of them should feel safe, no telling what will happen. Both of them agree that which ever two are left from the three of them has to win HoH, and that the one that leaves will pull for the other two from the jury house. Jess says if she leaves, no crying, game faces and win the HoH. Jameka says she is over the whole father/daughter thing. Jess says if she has to lose, she prefer it be to Jameka or Eric. Eric leaves. Jess and Jameka both agree that Jen is probably was not as much of a liar as everyone says. Jameka thinks the other want to keep Eric around because he can offer insights into the game. Eric is talking to Dani and ED. Eric tells them Jameka is upset with the three of them, that the last three females out have warned Jess about Eric having a deal with D&D and never realized Jess was in on the deal too. ED heads outside. Dani and Eric bash Jameka, Amber, Zach and just about everyone else. They said had it all been for fun, the eviction order would have been different. Dani is dreading having to look for a place to live when she leaves, no clue what she will do for sure.
Dani tells Eric about the whole Jen/Nick fight about whether they made out or not. The confrontation and Jen telling Dani to put on makeup because this was going to be on television. Eric says Jen is a nothing, ugly busted up b*tch. Eric heads into the DR. Eric comes out of the DR, now talking with Jess and Jameka. They are teasing him about how high he should wear his pants. General chit chat about life outside the house, hold old they were when they first drank, about cheerleading etc. Jameka looking very tired, having trouble remembering what it was she was going to say. Eric starts to brag about beating Zach by a millisecond in the PoV. Jess says well because of that, her and Jameka are on the block now. [Awkward silence... only thing missing is the crickets] When they talk again it about ED horror stories, the being woke up to pots and pans, etc. They rehash the week and it's highlights. They talk about the other hgs. They talk about the ogre moving back downstairs and Eric says he hopes they will be moving upstairs. Talk about farts. Everyone heads inside, doing silly things as they all prepare for bed. The girls are teasing Eric, poking, tickling, hissing etc. Teasing him and calling him a nancy boy. More talk of PoV and HoH. ED is outside doing laundry. Lots of whispering and such as everyone heads to bed. House goes quiet around 5:30am.
The standard recap of the HoH, Zach wins, Dani makes nice with Zach. Jameka and Jess are nominated.
Jameka and Jess leave the room and talk about how lame Zach's speech was. They both agree they must win PoV, Jess wants Eric to win PoV so that they are both safe. Dani goes up to talk to Zach. Zach talks about how Jess stared him down during the nomination ceremony. Zach talks about how Jess never came up to talk to him, Eric did all the talking and how Eric was shivering in his boots. Dani says worse case is Eric wins PoV. Eric is very upset with himself because he feels responsible for Jess being nominated. He is beating himself up for it. Eric talks with Jameka about how he feels like he is always doing things wrong, wrong for him, wrong for Jess, wrong for the game and that he is juggling things beyond the scope of the game. He feels like he will lose the game and his personal relationships. Eric talks in the DR and is very upset that he is going to hurt Jess. He says it is his dream to be here but it is turning into a nightmare. Jameka says hopefully they win PoV.
They are all at the table eating dinner. Jess relates a story about how she said at a girl scout thing that when asked what she wanted to do when she grows up she said the first female president or a waitress. Dani took offense to this because she is a waitress. ED then said I want to be president or a stripper, Dani assumes this means he considers a waitress and a stripper to be the same. [Everything is about Dani of course] ED and Dani are talking now about his comment, or ED is talking and Dani is ignoring him and when he asks if she will talk to him she snaps at him. He is trying to get her to talk and she refuses. ED says in DR he cannot stand how she talks to him. ED in the BY talking to himself and says BB should have put him in there with one of his ex-wives, it would have been the same thing.
Eric and Jess talk. Eric says the best scenario is for him to win PoV, second is for Jess to win. Jameka winning would not be good for them since they would both then be on the block. Eric does his best to comfort Jess and assure her he will do all he can to keep her safe. Jess says it kills her that she wanted Amber to stay. He holds her but she is obviously still very upset. She is trying to be cheerful. Eric clearly feels awful.
The hgs are all snug in their beds while visions of Janelle dance in the BY! Zach announces it is time for the PoV competition. They come out to a very pink BY, tv screen, a large chair. Dani loves the pinkness. Eric says we might be at our wedding. A swirling image is on the screen, they guess it is Janelle, Eric says she looks like Miss Piggy. Just then Janelle emerges, Eric feels like a Dick... so to speak. ED loves that it is Janelle, so does Dani. Janellavision!!
Dani goes first, sits center of the chair and pulls her legs in tight and covers her eyes, she seems pretty steady. She obviously gets quite a few. Dani says she studies the memory wall late at night and knows the color of peoples clothes etc.
Jameka, she is on the edge of the chair as it spins, she closes her eyes, not so steady. Jameka clearly has trouble. Janie is cheering for each person as they try to get the pics figured out.
ED flirts with Janie and she calls him hot. ED is just jazzed to have a hot girl he can flirt with. He wants to impress Janie but is very unsteady coming off the chair. He can hardly concentrate on the puzzles. He says he is not even trying, they are just there making out.
Eric covers his face with the pillow. Very unsteady and stumbling as he gets off the chair. Everyone is laughing at him. Janelle is cheering Eric on despite his being so unsteady and slow out of the gate. Eric talks about how much he needed to win this veto.
Zach is unsteady as well, almost heads into the pool. Zach thought his work as a graphic designer would help him. He went slow and steady to work through them. He just plugs away at it.
Jess stumbles through the curtain and starts on the puzzles, but seems to be having trouble. Janelle says Goooo Jess, like a cheer, it was cute.
Dick got 4
Zach got 6
Eric got 3
Jameka got 2
Dani got 7
Jess got 4
Danielle wins the PoV, Jameka and Jess clearly upset. Janelle gives Dani the PoV.
Before she goes, Janelle wishes all the hgs well, Eric apologizes. ED flirts some more with Janie and she with him. Dani does this happy dance about winning and whispers "they're pissed, they're pissed". She goes up to the HoH and celebrates with Zach. Zach was happy he did so well. Dani says yeah, she didn't think he did well, but he kicked arse. Zach says now they can send Jess home, it is much more real possibility to him. Eric again tries to reassure Jess that she is safe. Jess is pissed, it seems to be at Eric and the situation. Jess goes to sleep.
Zach and ED are talking in the BY the next morning. Zach says Janellavision what a funny thing. ED says what a hot piece of arse. Then there is a montage of Janie, ED talking about Janie and how it has been two months. Dani could not believe Janie said he was hot, it made her throw up in her mouth a little. ED says it was flirting back and forth, not one sided at all. In the DR ED tells Janelle to call him.
Eric goes into the hot tub and has a chat with ED. He is trying to solidify things with ED and ED says yeah, yeah. Eric says in DR everything is fine with ED and Dani and that Jess is safe and Jameka is leaving. ED says in DR that over confidence has been the downfall before in this game and that they have the power to send home anyone they want. Eric again is shown trying to comfort and reassure Jess. He says he would tell her if he thought she was leaving. Eric says if Zach gets Jameka out no one will be upset with him, so he thinks Jameka is going for sure. Eric and Jess kissing in the BY.
Eric heads to the DR to get his next AP task. He has to mimic the actions and words of the hg America has chosen, Dick. He has to do this on three separate occasions. Eric starts with ED in the BY, grabs a smoke and does everything ED does. ED says in the DR that Eric is imitating him, he does not know where it comes from but it is the sincerest form of flattery. Round two, they are sitting on the couch, spitting and such. ED tells him to clean it up. They blow snots on the grass now. Dani is grossed out. Round three. Eating cereal at the bar in the kitchen. ED is throwing his cereal and milk at Eric, Eric is pretending to do the same, but his bowl is empty. Dani says omg the floor is a mess, you guys are retarded. Task completed.
ED in the BY talking to himself, talking about Jameka, what if Eric goes this week. Back and forth a lot. Dani comes out because she has not slept at all. They are both going back and forth trying to decide what to do, who to vote out. They could vote out anyone they want, Eric, Jameka and Jess. Dani says Eric has played a sneaky dirty game. ED says he has been very straight up, but are we going to change that now. Dani says it doesn't matter if you are going to turn on them, it doesn't matter when. Dani says they have to do whatever will take them farther in the game. [Good point Dani, that's how the game is played]
Dani does her thoughtful stare at the memory wall prior to the PoV ceremony. She says she has to decide what is best for her and her dad. Jess would like her to use PoV and put Eric up. Jameka wants Dani to use it on her and put up ED. Eric says she does not want Dani to use the PoV and keep the alliance of four. Dani takes the Veto down and calls everyone in for the ceremony.
Dani gives them both a chance to say why the veto should be used on her. Jameka is excited and grateful to in the house, she would like her to use the veto but respects her decision. Jess says being on the block is hard, but Jess respects them all because they have all been there, but she respects whatever decision Dani makes. Dani talks about how this has been a season of backdooring and that she is not going to use the PoV. Ceremony over. Jameka says she is worth staying in this game. Jess admits she have never trusted ED and Dani.
Who do you want Eric to get evicted? Jameka or Jess. See how it plays out on the next episode of Big Brother 8!