Quick Show Synopsis

After the weekly recap and gratiutous 'Jen in unitard' shots, Julie welcomes us and recaps it all AGAIN for us in case we missed it the first time. Then comes the montage I like to call "The desperation of Joe" complete with diary fill ins with almost everyone in the house admitting to lying to Joe about keeping him. It turns out we told Eric to vote for Joe as well, and things are looking good for a giant-nipple-free house in the very near future. To farther prove that the houseguests are losing it, "The desperation of Joe" montage is followed by "The desperation of Kail" montage and the subsequent calling out she received from Dick in the kitchen. Later, Julie pretty much makes fun of Amber for crying all the time (ed. does it bother anyone else that Amber talks out of one side of her mouth?), and then she tries to create a showmance with Daniele and Nick, and he tries to play it off (but fails). Julie questions Jen, but she merely giggles. Things get (mildly) interesting when we are introduced to Nate, the best friend of Dustin who slept with Joe (but didn't give him gonorrhea, I guess...) and was instrumental in the subsequent break-up. He says Joe lies (we knew that anyway) and seems to still be on team Dustin. Jen's HOH interview with Julie turns out to be a rehash of what we've been talking about for weeks. She doesn't hate Dick (maybe true), she's not jealous of Daniele at all (maybe not so true), the picture is the worst EVER (oh, Jen...) and its over. Thanks for the hard-hitting questions as usual, Julie. There are lots of clips from the Diary Room about how the houseguests intend to vote, but we know from experience its all misdirection and creative editing anyway, so who really listens? The votes are in, and its Joe saying buh-bye by a vote of 9-1, Kail being the unsurprising dissenter. His 'on the couch' time is short and sweet. He discovers that Joe is America's player (which tells us that it is unlikely that any of our dearly departed friends will be returning this year) and Dustin tells him to work on himself. On to the HOH competition which is a slightly more intelligent true/false game that requires some knowledge of history, geography, and math. Amber looks confused before the game even begins, and its clear that this is going to be tough for most of them. Dick comes out victorious, Kail looks nauseated, and Daniele blows any cover she had left by giving him a big ol' public high five. We get to tell Eric to try and get someone nominated again, are reminded (as usual) to watch Housecalls, Showtime's Big Brother After Dark and order our feeds, and we're left with inside the house chatter. Until Sunday...

But what REALLY happened...

8:30 AM
The Houseguests are awakened by BB (many having just gone to bed) and told that they are being put on lockdown. We catch a glimpse of Joe (still in fantasyland) telling Dustin that he only has two votes against him. Otherwise, we mostly have bleary eyed hamsters showering, eating, and dressing (sort of) and no one talks much.

9:30 AM
All 13 are locked in HOH trying to use the spyscreen to figure out what is happening downstairs. They see movement, and we get sent to tunnel vision for a moment. Daniele and Jen are bored enough to have an argument over how long the lockdown will be: Daniele says 30 minutes, Jen says an hour. For what seems like days we get a smattering of dreadfully boring nonsense: feeds with no sound, feeds with BB theme, tunnel vision with sound, and worst of all Amber straigtening Jameka's hair with Kail as an audience (luckily, there is no sound.)

11:15 AM
The captives seem to have been freed from the HOH room, but BB has decided to play the BB theme for them to cover the sound of whatever is happening outside. (ed. It took all of us a bit of time to realize that it was playing in the house, so bear with the updates.)
Zach and Nick have a brief pow-wow in the storage room about voting. They decide on Joe to leave (AGAIN) and they have a confusing game of he said/she said that leads nowhere.
Jen and Kail chit chat in HOH while Jen packs up her stuff to move it back downstairs.
Dick gets annoyed by the BB theme (yeah man, we feel your pain.)

12:00 PM
Zach and Mike talk strategy for awhile and Zach tells Mike that if he wins HOH he won't put Dick up. Mike gets upset and wonders why, and Zach says because he likes to fly under the radar (ed. I'm not sure how winning HOH helps you accomplish this "under the radar" strategy, but, whatever.) and that he will throw the HOH to Mike if he wants and HE can put Dick up. (Read: Zach wants Mike to do the dirty work. Great alliance there, kids.)
Kail curls her hair, and then we get trivia.

2:00 PM
Jen is still upset that there was no new HOH decor for her.
Joe tells Mike that he has 5 votes to stay (Kail, Mike, Zach, Nick and Jessica) and Mike bursts his bubble and says that Zach and Nick are "not down" anymore. Joe finds Nick and does some last minute begging and tries to get Nick to flip his vote AND Daniele's.
Joe goes upstairs and tells Jen he has enough votes for a tie. (ed. I'm not sure if he is making this up, if he can't count, or he's just in utter denial.)
We get tunnel vision again for another hour...

4:00 PM
Lots of showering and primping for the live show.
Dick tells Amber that Jen told him that Dustin was in a secret alliance, and that someone close to Dick had offered to put themselves up as a pawn. (ed. Dick seems to think this person is Dustin when in actuality is was Amber. I'm surprised she didn't break down, cry, and confess.)
There are lots of little groups and couples around whispering, but it is hard to catch. Joe and Jessica whisper, as do Kail and Jen, but we've got nothing.
Nick says that he is "throwing it tonight" (HOH, I'd assume) and confirms that it is a go to keep Dick. Jen and Joe discuss folic acid as a skin treatment. They have a pow-wow in the storage room and he continues his delusion that there is at least a tie and that he will stay.

4:30 PM
More primping and discussion of pancakes(?) and cuban food. The girls are excited that they will get to eat after the live show.
Jameka drops the bomb on Joe that she isn't voting for him to stay and it seems to shake him into reality.
Daniele has a tinfoil hat and wants Eric to wear one too, but he won't.
They start to take their places on the living room couches, and Daniele pops up to get some sort of melon she (or someone) carved into a bat and plops it on the table.

It's showtime and we get tunnel vision.

6:15 PM
Feeds return with Amber and Daniele having a celebration in the weight room. They think its going to be an easy week and just hope that they won't be on slop again.
In the dining room there was a little discussion about Diary Room Re-do takes which of COURSE got us tunnel vision for a bit.
Dick thanks everyone for keeping him, and then we get a glimpse of someone changing the sheets in the HOH.
Daniele and Dick talk about the competition and how she almost put 120 as her answer, too.

7:00 PM
Dick goes outside and talks to himself a bit (I believe it was specifically "vindication m*therf*cker") before Jen joins him. He says that Kail is in the worst spot.
Jameka talks with Nick and explains that she kept Dick because he was consistent and didn't pressure her. Nick says that with Dick you get a knife in your front, not your back. Dick joins them and says that he went to Kail after he won HOH and told her "If you would have stuck to our deal you wouldn't be sh*tting your pants right now". (ed. Dick has such a way with words, doesn't he?)
Nick goes and joins Jen in the hottub. (According to the updates, he seems to have inherited James's habit of nervous nailbiting.) They talk about a food comp and whether they would prefer to have a trampoline or a pool table. Jen wants the trampoline, and Nick wants the pool table.
Inside, the remaining houseguests notice that a chair is missing from the dining room table and start to wonder how long it will be before they get the little one. They talk about Kail being in the diary room for so long and Dustin postulates that she needed a sedative. (ed. LOL Dustin has some great lines sometimes.)
There is lots of idle chit chat about movies, congratulations to Dick on being HOH, he promises to jack off in the room and Zach calls him sick (but probably wishes he could, too).
Amber tells Jen that she thinks Dick will put up Kail and Mike and that Jen will be safe, but Jen doesn't believe it.

7:45 PM
Kail and Mike have a meeting in the storage room about Nick. Kail wants to out Nick's involvement with their alliance to Dick in hopes that he'll nominate Nick instead. Mike says that they should wait and talk about it later. Kail gets upset and asks why Mike didn't vote for Joe to stay like he had promised. He apologizes and said he should have told her. She says that Joe told her that someone in the house has a secret message for her if he left. Mike tries to leave, but she won't let him and just keeps talking. (ed. Kail is *absolutely* headed for a ding dong Dani episode here, folks. It is hard to convey through a recap, but she is getting increasingly hysterical and scary.)

8:00 PM
A plane flies over advertising goodyear.com and Eric claims that it is an encoded message that means "Don't trust Daniele!"
Dustin tells Jameka and Jessica that he told Dick that he and Jen don't get along because they are so much alike that they bump heads.
Daniele gets annoyed at Zach for talking about food and tells Jameka that she hates him. Jameka tells her that there is no way that Dick would put him up because they are buddy buddy. (Ed. It is unfortunate that Daniele doesn't seem to realize how easily she probably could manipulate her dad into doing what she wants.)

8:30 PM
Dick gets his HOH room. In his basket he received a letter from his mom that he wouldn't read aloud, cocoa pebbles, Guiness, 2 kinds of Ben and Jerry's ice cream (Cherry Garcia, and Caramel Sutra), chocolate syrup from his son, a Ramones CD, and lots of family pictures. Daniele reminisces with him a bit. Most leave after awhile, and Dick says that everyone left in the room (Eric, Daniele, Dustin, Jameka, Jessica, and Amber) get a free pass for the week. He says officially that Jen and Kail will go up on the block and Mike will be the replacement if one of them is vetoed off. He expresses his wish that it is Kail that is voted out, not Jen, and they all agree to that. (ed. Oh, how joyous it would be if that stuck!)
Jen gets to wear regular clothes again, but claims that her unitard was more comfortable.
Kail is getting the "next evicted" treatment from the others. She sits at the table alone and everyone acts as if she isn't there.

9:00 PM
They get food and the sloppers (as usual) go crazy. They get italian, and everyone appears to be happy. Dick thanks everyone for their support again as they eat, and offers them all special chocolate milk from his HOH basket. He warns Amber that he will put her on the block if she does her Fran Drescher impersonation again. (ed. LOL) He wishes Jameka an early happy birthday, and she says she wants waffles and whipped cream in the morning.

9:30 PM
Dick and Nick chat in the backyard about Daniele. They both agree that they would purposefully lose the game to let Daniele win (ed. Idiot. I can see Dick doing that as a way to repair the relationship, but Nick just needs help. Sheesh.) They both want to break up the Mrs. Robinson alliance. Zach drops in and the chat turns to the Pirates of the Carribean movies.
Kail comes over and asks to talk to Dick later, and he says ok. (Something about she has something she "halfway" wants to tell him and a question for him. I'm assuming she wants to drop the Nick bomb.) She goes inside and tries to talk to Mike again, but he doesn't seem particularly interested. She gives up on him and presses Daniele for information about who Dick is going to put up. She says she doesn't know, but she's sure that he'll be open and honest about it when he decides. Kail asks Daniele to ask Dick not to blast her when he puts her up. She chases Mike back to the Harem room and complains for awhile. She is covinced that it is the two of them that will be nominated. She thinks that Zach and Nick are a two person alliance.

10:00 PM
Kail returns to desperation mode and spills all to Dustin and Amber to try and sway them. She keeps asking them what to do, and tells them that her alliance has turned on her. As she talks, she gets going faster and faster and Dustin and Amber can't even get a word in. After she leaves, Dustin and Amber start talking in color code again (thanks to AcousticGrrrl for figuring this much out at least: Zach has no idea that Nick has turned on him.) They agree that there should never be an actual alliance that is larger than three people. Agreements are fine, but never an alliance. (ed. This is a brief moment of clarity for these two, and a good strategy. Large alliances do often prove to be unweildy and dangerous.)

10:30 PM
Amber catches Nick in the workout room and rehashes her conversation with Kail. Nick laughs and says it all happened on day 7. Amber worries that Kail will out him left and right, but Nick isn't worried. He tells her that he's told 4 or 5 people about his ties with Kail's alliance already, so it will be old news when she gets around to telling people. Nick says he broke away from them because they told him he'd have to vote out Daniele. Amber tells him she's been working Jen and telling her that she thinks that Nick is just playing Daniele.
Dustin talks with Kail and Mike. He suggests talking to the two alliance members who she thinks have defected. (He doesn't use names, but we know he knows who they are.) Kail goes on a nameless hate campaign against Nick and Zach after Dustin tells her that she and Mike are going up. (ed. LOL, he knows that isn't true, because Dick told him in the HOH room who he was putting up.)He tells Kail that it is her own fault, and that she never should have campaigned so hard against Dick.
Daniele and Dick talk about the HOH competition in the HOH room. They seem happy and are getting along well.

11:00 PM
Kail traps Amber and whines a little bit more. She claims that Jen was never a part of her alliance, just a friend, and that she is taking one for the team. Kail slips and sys Zach's name outright to Amber who wisely pretends not to notice.
Feeds cut for a few minutes
On return, Amber tells Daniele what she already knows about Nick's involvement with Kail.
Downstairs, Dick creates a makeshift bowling game out of empty soda bottles and a nerf ball.
Jameka gets called to the diary room and Eric and Jessica write "Happy Birthday" on the table with some sort of gel. She comes out, sees it, and thanks them.
Outside, most of them sit around and joke. They talk about sequester and how it is only two more evictions away. Eric and Jessica play footsie for awhile, and Jameka can't wait until midnight for it to officially be her birthday.

12:00 AM
Eric makes a deal with Jessica that if he can lick the word "Jameka" cleanly off the table in one swipe she has to suck something (edible body paint, i think) off of some part of his body. He manages it, and she licks it off of his nipples. (Jameka put the paint on drawing a heart around one nipple and a penis around the other.) They both seem to enjoy it, and so does everyone else. (ed. You have to love these two! At least they are fun!)
Everyone cheers for Jameka at exactly midnight and she says she loves all of them and is looking forward to her waffles in the morning.
Dick becomes the first(?) person to slide all the way down the rail from the HOH floor to the kitchen.
Dustin tells Nick everything Kail told him, and Nick confirms that it is all true. He adds that he has been playing them from the get-go and claims responsibility for saving Amber by swaying their votes. Nick goes off and tells Dick of his involvement with Kail, but it didn't seem to phase Dick in the slightest.
Kail and Mike seclude themselves and talk about whether or not the information will get back to Dick. She is STILL going on about the alliance not voting with her. They talk about getting evicted, and Kail says she gets teary eyed. (ed. I have NO clue how Mike is able to listen to this all night. I'm sure by this point he was wishing he was back on his date with Amber.)

12:30 AM
Kail meets with Dick and he tells her point blank that she is going up and there is NO deal she can cut with him. She tries to out her alliance, but she gets shot down (and looks STUNNED) when Dick tells her he already knows about it. He throws Jen's name in, and Kail swears she wasn't a part of it. Dick kind of laughs at her and asks if she's trying to save herself by betraying her own alliance. She says no, that she wanted to show him that she took her alliance seriously. She tells him that only Mike was loyal and Dick shoots her down AGAIN and says that he wasn't because the vote was 9-1. (ed. LMAO! GO DICK!) He finally tells her that she took the wrong deal and that unless she wins POV, she's going home. He tells her that making alliances that early in the game was stupid and that now everyone wants her out. She asks for a list of names, but doesn't get them.
The rest of the houseguests seem to be having a competition to see how many grapes they can fit in their mouths. Jameka manages 33, and Amber wins(?) with 47. (Let the big mouth jokes commence...)

1:00 AM
Dick is still talking with delusional Kail and trying to convince her that it is just a game and a handshake on day 2 means nothing on day 20. He tells her that she AND Jen will be out before sequester. Dick outs Jen telling him bits and pieces about their alliance the night before, and Kail AGAIN turns the conversation back to Nick. He asks her if she sees how happy and carefree the house is tonight. (He is insinuating that it is because they all know she's leaving.) Kail says that she is not judgmental *cough cough* when Dick says he doesn't understand how a churchgoing mother can be friends with a woman who walks around with her "t*ts hanging out." Dick rails on about Kail secluding herself from the others, and finally, FINALLY she gives up and leaves saying "Nick made me do it." (ed. LOL this is PURE COMEDY!) Enterprising chatters kept some statistics from the meeting including:
*best friend 11*
*shook/shake/shakes 41*
*7 flip that bitch*
*erect 1*
*betray 4*
*free pass 9*
*I can't remember 5*
(Thanks to Jokerette and all the great chatters and Ops for the counts!)

Nick is laying with his head in Daniele's lap in the backyard. He calls Jessica "the nipple licker" when she comes out. The three of them discuss "Flavor of Love" with Amber and Dustin.

1:45 AM
The outside crew + Eric and Jameka talk about how they are being portrayed. Dustin thinks they are making him look like and assh*le for being abrupt with Joe, Amber knows she is the crier, and Daniele says Jameka is the token black girl who has never had a white friend. They talk about the stupid lines the producers give them to say for their introductions. Eric throws out "I'm going to Bar Mitzvah the competition." Jen got a list of 10 to choose from.
Kail rehases the conversation with Dick to Mike. It is literally almost word for word from the other conversation. Mike laments that if they had stuck together they would be so strong. Kail thinks, for some reason, that if the veto is won that ZACH is going up. Perhaps she wasn't listening to Dick. She is upset now because Dick made her think that no one likes her.

2:00 AM
Nick and Jameka chat about Dick and Kail in the bathroom. Eric says that Kail is freaking out and Jameka agrees. She says, "She knows shes gonna go...Signed, Sealed, Delivered."
Jen joins the Kail/Mike pity party in the harem room. She says that Dick told her that people were selling out left and right. Kail tells her that everyone in the house wants to send her (Kail) home. Jen says that she doesn't, of course.
Daniele tells Nick that she wants Jen out next week because she is her biggest threat. She talks about her brother having no drive and getting wasted every day. She says he is smart, but he doesn't try. She says that even though she isn't HOH, she feels like she has power this week. Nick says that she is smart and pretty, and that he isn't BSing her.
Eric tells Amber that he is glad Joe is gone, that he hated him personally and on a game level. He thinks that the best part is that Joe left embarassed and will never get over it because he thought he was the brains of the house. He makes up a story about what he said in Joe's goodbye message (in reality it was just telling him about being America's player and trying to crawl into bed with him.)

2:30 AM
Dick kicks everyone out of HOH so he can talk to Daniele and Nick, but he never comes up.

3:00 AM
He tells Eric about the Kail conversation and how she threw her whole alliance under the bus. He doubts Nick's feelings for Daniele, but Eric tells him to NEVER confront Daniele about it. He says that if he is playing her, that news should not come from Dick. They decide to purposefully feel Nick misinformation to see what happens.
Eric tells Jessica that he stays in the HOH competition until he feels safe with everyone who is left and then he throws it. Jameka joins them and he says that Daniele, Joe and Nick were the most dangerous ones in the house. Jameka thinks Daniele has the best game going.

4:00 AM
Dick finally meets with Daniele in the HOH room. They talk about his meeting with Kail and Nick's involvement in the Mrs. Robinson Alliance. Dick wants to know if Daniele told Nick about their alliance. She says no, and asks if Dick doesn't trust him. He responds, "Just be careful." He thinks that Nick was deeper into the MRA than she thinks because of the information that he is getting. Daniele promises 100% that Nick was never going to vote for Dick to leave. (This is true.) Dick says that he just doesn't want to be the Erika of this season (*snort*) and she promises that she and Nick are just friends. Joe's last words to Dick before leaving the were, "Don't trust Nick." Daniele says that she trusts Nick the most in the house, and Dick says that she should trust HIM the most. She thinks that Jen is an idiot, but Dick tells her that she isn't as stupid as Daniele thinks. She doesn't buy it. She is still upset about Dick not trusting Nick 100%. They talk about how their relationship messes with their game.

4:30 AM
Jessica joins Dick and Daniele in the HOH room and hops in bed with Daniele. Dick talks about what he is going to put in his blog. Eric and Jameka join them. They all talk about Jen showing her naughty bits all over the place. Eric tells a story about Jen saying that she had bled through all of her panties while in sequester because she thought that she would be supplied with feminine products and didn't bring any of her own. She says she didn't clean any of them(!?) and the security dogs got hold of them when they were searching her bags.

5:00 AM
Jameka lays down between Jessica and Daniele and Jessica tells her she is like the meat in the taco.
Eric and Dick leave the girls and talk in the bathroom. Eric promises to put up MRA (if he gets HOH) with Jen as the replacement nominee. They agree that Daniele is in a bad spot because they don't trust Nick. They go over their preferred order of evictions, and then head off to bed. All houseguests are sound asleep by 5:47 am.