BB recap August 17 & 18, 2010

Matt Gloats while the rest of the Brigade Floats & Ragan Rages & Weeps

Aug 17

Tuesday was a pretty nonproductive day in the BB house but it did get pretty good in wee small hours of the morning *much more about that later!

The day was spent lounging around the pool, talking about how filthy the house was, with no one but Brendon or Kathy willing to do any of the actual work that is necessary for a house NOT to be dirty! Most of the bitching was led by this year’s BB Princess Britney, who has decided to lead hourly Britch&Bash sessions, ad nauseum. Whoever is not in her general vicinity is fair game except of course, Ragan & Lane.

Tuesday morning: Bitch&Bash sessions ad nauseum mixed in with a little Ragan Fox communications PHD’s discourse on why Brendon or Rachel deserve to die, rot in hell, be run over by a bus, etc etc etc, ad nauseum.

Britney & Ragan have become their own little tag team of rhetorical HELL! Ragan actually let this gem fall out of his mouth, “I have a visceral reaction to Brendon!” I am not sure our resident nelly queen has any idea what visceral means since it slams Ragan, not Brendon but at this point I think Ragan’s vile & venom has poisoned his mind.

Tuesday evening: Bitch&Bash sessions interspersed with some gameplay talk by Matt & a few others and a few of Ragan’s Vile&Venom sessions. When Brit & Ragan get together & share their Bitch&Bash with some Vile&Venom it is particularly toxic.

Matt actually played up the idea of someone having some kind of ‘golden power’ but then said “I don’t want to hear anything about Double Eviction or anyone having a power because I will have hope!” Lane usually manages to stay above the fray but got sucked in several times today & it wasn’t pretty!

Ragan suggested that the only thing that would make him happy today was if someone beat up Brendon. Nice. I see how the bullying Ragan experience growing up with & complains about incessantly, made him a kinder and better person. *read sarcasm!

Brendon, meanwhile is very aware of the Bitching&Bashing and Vile&Venom and wonders why they can’t make their BB time a more enjoyable experience. Brendon contends that they don’t have to like each other but they could at least try to have some fun instead of “causing drama and gossip.” It is called Mob Mentality Brendon and it is never pretty on Big Brother and this year’s cast is serving up a particularly toxic mix.

Brendon relays these feelings to none other than Kathy. Kathy, our dear sainted Kopper Kathy, who can’t resist opening her mouth to let the world know some new illegal or unethical tactic she and her coworkers use in their daily shifts as officers who serve & protect and apparently steal, cheat, rob & watch movies instead of working. Good job Kathy, way to go!

Later in the evening, Kathy gets into one of her weirdly incestuous, cougar/mommy flirt sessions with Hayden & tells him that he is going to have to PROVE his love to her. Hayden gives her a hug and she starts complaining about how much Brendon is stalking her and won’t leave her alone and how much she wants him gone. The duplicity of this woman is certifiable!

Around 10pm Ragan comes of the DR crying and runs to the Cabana Room for another pity party and Kathy and Matt join him to comfort him and contribute to his latest Vile&Venom session.

Ragan shows a modicum of self-awareness when he states that “every gay guy out there hates me, they’re saying why does this gay guy perpetuate every stereoptye out there?” Kathy attempts bring some brevity to the situation by talking about Ragan being in love with Matt and says Ragan just gets emotional cuz he has to hide his love away, when Matt chimes in that he isn’t hiding anything. Way to string the gay guy along, married straight man!

Matt is so concerned about Ragan’s emotional welfare that he decides this is the perfect time to go fix something to eat and does just that, lol! Kathy stays back to comfort Ragan some more by telling him that he shouldn’t be embarrassed to show how sensitive he is and she & Ragan just have big hearts. They conclude their sensitive, big heart session by talking about what horrible human beings Rachel & Brendon are and why they should die in hell. Wow, just wow!

Matt does something even more treacherous than getting food during one of Ragan’s weepy Vile&Venom sessions; throughout the day & evening, he continuously eggs Ragan on about campaigning for Matt to stay in the house over Lane, even though Matt has the Diamond Power of Veto and there is NO CHANCE that HE is leaving the house. Particularly telling is this little exchange:
Matt: tell Enzo if he keeps Matt, he keeps you & If he keeps Lane he keeps Britney (and Enzo doesn’t like Britney)
Ragan: (thinks Enzo is so stupid he will buy this) I’ll tell him that if I have to choose between him and Britney, I will choose him!
Matt: Enzo’s not adverse to talking, if he’s the focus of the talk, Enzo loves Enzo!

Matt still thinks Enzo is just another puppet to his Genius Puppet Master but meanwhile, Enzo is leading the Brigade revolt against Matt………..should get interesting in the coming weeks!

Nothing much happens the rest of the evening except we see Ragan put a SAB message under Enzo’s pillow. The message reads: I KNOW YOUR SECRET! Wait, you mean Ragan is going to have to do something other than taped, anonymous messages to earn that 20grand? Surprise, Surprise! But Live feed watchers are going to have to wait for hours before Enzo finally goes to sleep and finds said message!

Aug 18

3:45 AM BBT
Enzo finds SAB note under his pillow, Kathy wakes from her Ambien fog but goes back to sleep/Enzo tells Hay & Lane. Enzo starts laughing the minute he sees the message & holds it up for the BB house cameras to see. He does not get upset or scared, he seems to be tickled that he was singled out for this “sabotage”.

Lane, Hayden & Enzo begin to wonder if they should just leave the note for someone else to find and they want to target Ragan, which is hilarious in its double-cross, but someone decides they should just wake up everybody and let them all know about the note.

Everyone but Kathy & Brendon gathers in the Cabana room, convincing themselves that Kathy is the SAB & she left the pretzel note for Brendon.

Enzo says SAB wrote the pretzel message that Rachel supposedly left for Brendon and everyone agrees that it was Kathy cuz she knew about the note but didn’t tell Matt before POV when it would have helped him!

Matt is especially angry about this new conclusion and appears to genuinely believe the veracity of the Mob’s conclusion. The most hilarious thing about it is that Kathy spent most of the day cleaning & doing laundry and the fact that she changed Enzo’s sheets is being used as evidence that she is the SAB.

Mob mentality, i.e. lord of the flies, is rampant now & they will all believe, whatever from whoever is willing to talk the most smack to back up their claim. No one checks to see if the smack talk is TRUE. No one will stick his neck out to verify any gossip or any claim of any kind in this house. It is surreal!

Matt had been complaining about the supposed rule violation of BB letting Rachel leave a “pretzel message” to Brendon and has gone to the DR several times to get them to do something about it. He admits to everyone that all BB said was that it was an oversight this season that bypassed them. They'll address it next season. Matt is attempting to re-write BB rules apparently since he is the Diabolical Genius and smarter than any employee of CBS! *Julie Chen has said that this is how Matt came into the CBS offices during the casting process.

The SAB note is signed with an “S” which all the houseguests read as a further sign that it is Kathy, since she is a Sheriff. Yes, because the SAB would always give themselves away by using a simple double meaning like that. *They really must suck the oxygen out of the BB house because midway their brains almost completely stop functioning and all they want to do is sleep!

Britney starts ripping on Enzo losing the ropes course to the SAB Kathy & Enzo is pissed & they all start smack talking him bad & it is so funny!

They are bashing Kathy & saying she would be the SAB for 100 bucks, no a carton of cigarettes, no a Cold Root Beer!

They notice a stain on the SAB note & Enzo asks if it is root beer!?!?!? *Kathy has an affinity for root beer that has caused several problems in the house, stupid silly problems!

Ragan is in the cabana room helping everyone believe the SAB is really Kathy and the bubble over his head reads:
“these people are so stupid & i am so smart, i can't wait to win the 500k & my 20k bonus! i am so above all of these people, even my married man crush is beneath me but i can't stop lovin him and no stupid BB SAB assignment is gonna come between me & my man!”

Now Hayden is saying it is insulting to be SAB’ed by Kathy but Matt says it is worse for him cuz he now thinks Kathy wrote the pretzel message telling Brendon to nom Matt for eviction! *Yes, Matt, everything is worse for you because you had the Diamond Power of Veto handed to you on a silver platter by winning a comp that was obviously set up for a small, slender person, with small, slender feet, to win. Well done you!

Ragan cannot stand the fact that this many houseguests have gathered in the Cabana Room and no one has started any Vile&Venom towards Brendon, so Ragan does what Ragan does best and says, "His evil is a lot worse than Kathy's!” The non-sequitur is rather lost on his captive audience and they go back to bashing Kathy, much to Ragan’s disappointment.

Matt starts talking about the actual message in the SAB note & recalls how Kathy always says she knows what the boys are talking about when they are talking in front of her in code & the guys have been ribbing her & teasing her about it & so that is the SAB message!

They all agree that it is a stupid SAB prank & wander back to bed.

Very gradual houseguest wake up. Brendon does his usual breakfast & Kathy gets up to smoke & Britney gets up as well, but everyone else stays in bed.

Kathy is out on the backyard couches, complaining to Brendon & patting herself on the back for doing all of the house cleaning, laundry & dishes but angry & feeling sorry for herself that no one thanks her. She says that Brendon does all the cooking & no one thanks him either.

Brendon asks BB to thank Kathy & the control room voice comes on & thanks both Brendon & Kathy. *Now I am sure Kathy is mad that she did not get her own individual thank you! ACK, these guys are so ridiculous!

And this followed the most mind numbingly stupid conversation between those two that rivaled the stupidity of BB9 Adam & Matty planning the drug running career on live feeds: Kopper Kathy is going to use her deputy Log knowledge & figure out who wrote the SAB note and Brendon chimes in that he took a handwriting analysis class & he will be able to figure it out as well. They follow that up with another debate about whether the new SAB is one of the current houseguests or someone that already left or if it is BB.

*I now have several bruises on my forehead from banging my head on my desk. If this conversation is preserved & used again, there is no reason for any kind of extreme torture in times of war. All they have to do is force the prisoners to watch this conversation over & over & they will cave in and give up any & all information they have! But the danger is getting the info before their brains liquefy!

Britney in the BY hammock by herself has manged to figure out a way to have a Bitch&Bash session with only the cameras listening. She is complaining to her mom that everyone farts & the house is filthy……..*yes, Britchney, if you NEVER clean, the house gets dirty, that is how THAT works!

This girl makes Veruca Salt look like a nice, polite, well-mannered young lady!

Britney: If I can't get enough people to talk to ME about ME, i will go in the BY & talk to myself about my favorite subject: ME!

Ususally Live Feeders live to hear someone talking to themselves, us or anything by themselves cuz it is usually funny or enlightening or both but Britney is just boring, selfish, and whining. She is a Mean Girl even when she is all by herself! It is surreal!

Brendon comes out and interrupts her “Me Session” by asking in his fumbling, awkward way if they are still “good”. She says they are & he backs away, rightfully scared of her anger death stare.

After he leaves, the hearts, butterflies & unicorns start flowing out of her mouth *read: toads, frogs & maggots!

Britchney: Yeah, Brendon we are totally good & I can’t wait to nominate you!
She even goes on to say something meaner about Brendon & manages to tag her fiancée Nick as another Mean Girl who would love to get in on the Brendon bashing!

Now she is talking about how nasty it is that Brendon sweats & you can see the sweat marks on his shorts. So it is super gross to sweat while wearing sweatpant shorts & working out, while she is wearing her hot pink short shorts with no underwear, and showing us her gynecological regions, which has a million Britchney Vaginal shots on the internet!

The only thing that tempers my disgust at Britney is the fear that her Mother is going to be more critical of Britney than a million internet forums combined & is not going to suggest she be nicer, just berate her for cussing & showing her vulva to the world. Apples never fall far from the tree, etc etc.

Britney continues her solo Bitch&Bash session and makes Rachel the target with this gem: Britney: Rachel I am humiliated that I had to be on the same season of Big Brother as you.
*Well Brit, I am humiliated that you are on the same planet with me and further humiliated that we are the same species. So there! Yes, I do feel a little better now, thank you.

Brit concludes this Bitch&Bash session with the following: “Why do I talk crap all the time? Because I have no motivation to be nice in this house."
*I fear that nothing could motivate this Mean Girl Princess from ever being motivated to be nice anywhere for any reason but miracles do happen!

Britney has been asking the houseguests all kinds of personal questions, thinking it will be on a BB comp quiz but Kathy was onto her & told Lane about it. Kathy told Lane that she started giving Britney false information about herself, just to screw up Britney’s game. Lane told Britney & she is getting really mad, “this is the end of me trying to be nice to her!”

Britney in the cabana room showing us her bald, naked vulva once again! We have seen this so many times before, this time the cameraman doesn’t even bother to zoom in.

Britney mentions that one of the BB wake-up songs was Strawberry Fields, which she had never heard before. The lyrics are particularly interesting:

No one I think is in my tree, I mean it must be high or low.
That is you can't you know tune in but it's all right.
That is I think it's not too bad.

Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.
Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.
Strawberry Fields forever.

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.
It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out.
It doesn't matter much to me.

Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.
Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.
Strawberry Fields forever.

Always know sometimes think it's me, but you know I know and it's a dream.
I think I know of thee, ah yes, but it's all wrong.
That is I think I disagree.

Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.
Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.
Strawberry Fields forever.
Strawberry Fields forever.
Strawberry Fields forever.

“Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see“, should be Ragan’s personal motto, maybe that is what he has tattooed on his arm?

We have just come back from almost an hour long BB Bubbles break and the houseguests are all abuzz talking about some BB messages they got. These were NOT SAB messages and they are trying hard to memorize them while wondering what they mean.
The messages were many & varied, telling them to do jumping jacks and talking about Have Nots and the HOH room.

Ragan is alone in the Have Not room and goes over all of the BB messages which seems like a list of suggestions for the SAB to have to do but Ragan never catches on to this. His list includes:
Do 12 jumping jacks
Go outside on your hands and knees and howl at the moon
Hot shower
Make out with an imaginary person
Go outside and do a handstand
Mimic a houseguest
TP the HOH room
Do the pledge of allegiance
Exchange shirts with a HG
Group hug for 2 minutes
Get on the floor and sizzle like bacon
Smile until your cheeks ache
Spin until you can't stand anymore
The lie is 10 thousand dollars in the storage room.

Brendon gets the HOH camera.
He takes most of the pics outside of the HG power lounging and around 2pm gathers everyone in the Cabana Room for the “shrinking HG” group photo. Ragan scowls & pouts through the whole proceeding and then runs out of the room like he is on fire, as soon as the photo taking is finished.

Ragan just stopped sucking his thumb recently, according to his personal blog; America’s Next Top Bottom and I think he may need to start sucking it again, sometime soon or he might do a Rumpelstiltskin. The guy never really had it, I mean who goes into the BB house talking about being a “power bottom” gay man & crying at the drop of a hat?

Houseguests are finding new reasons to believe that Kathy is the SAB. She never used to go to the DR but now she gets called in all the time & she needs money so much, she would agree to be the SAB just for the money BB might give her and on & on. Some of it is hilarious & some of it is mind-boggling but that is the essence of paranoia in the BB house.

Britney and Ragan have a conversation about butt plugs and anal sex.

Enzo, Matt, Lane & Hayden join the conversation and they start talking about Kathy being the SAB.

Kathy and Matt have a mean Ambien need and get very upset if BB doesn’t give it to them. Ambien is only supposed to be taken for seven nights or less and is highly addictive. Britney thinks Kathy agreed to be the SAB in exchange for Ambien.

The rest of the afternoon and evening are pretty much the same except they have now decided that there won’t be a double eviction this week and the Bitch&Bash and Vile&Venom sessions have progressed to include the Jury House and how bad it will be to get sent there with Rachel.

Britney, Matt & Ragan are in the Have Not room, doing what they do best; spewing maggots about everyone that is not in the room with them. Brigade members get a pass which blows my mind because doesn’t it seem like Britney or Ragan would WONDER WHY the other 3 guys get a bashing pass????

Hayden, Enzo, Brendon & Kathy are preparing hamburgers in the kitchen and having a good time.

Enzo goes to the Have Not room to engage in a little Brendon bashing with Matt and Britney leaves because some of the talk included Nick. Lane started ripping on Nick and Britney started crying. That girl can dish up vile pie in a flash but she can’t take it coming back at her. At all. Tears and the whining are the only thing she seems capable of besides Bitch&Bash.

Hayden is left alone in the kitchen to Jedi train with Brendon but leaves to join the Brendon bashing in the Have Not room. Enzo & Hayden have said they enjoy Brendon’s company and want him to stay in the house but clearly don’t want anyone to suspect this.

Matt gets called to the DR but when he gets out, he & Ragan join Enzo in the Taj room. They go over every aspect of the SAB message that Enzo got, over & over again until Matt leaves and Ragan jumps at the chance to sway Enzo’s vote to keep Matt. Ragan goes on for quite awhile & Enzo nods & says YO at all the right moments and Ragan leaves convinced that he is a brilliant communicator and his Bromance will remain intact in the BB house. He isn’t privy to the faces of disgust that Enzo makes to his back and after he is gone. Enzo even makes a final 4 gesture to the camera and the disgusted look on his face speaks volumes.

Ragan goes to the backyard to relay all his rat machinations to his master but they are interrupted by Lane eating another hamburger so they go to the hammock. Ragan is convinced that he said and did all the right things like a good little puppet and Enzo is going to keep Matt in the house.

Enzo comes out and joins Hayden & Lane and they all agree the burgers Brendon made are great. Enzo starts telling them that he was double teamed by Matt & Ragan in the Taj and Ragan even suggested a final 4 of him, Matt, Enzo & Hayden. The guys are not happy & more cracks are visible in the Brigade armor. Matt has been suspicious of Enzo and Hayden’s loyalty, ever since they started spending time with Brendon (which he told them to do) and the smart move for him would be to get out one of them with his DPOV but his ego is talking louder than his brain and he desperately wants his ‘genius’ brigade alliance to make BB history. That BB history idea is going to cost him 500k!

Matt is in the hammock talking to Hayden about the SAB but takes a detour to try to cover his tracks about spending so much time with Ragan. Hayden says and does all the right things to convince Matt that he believes him when his conversations with Enzo have already shown us that they both think Matt has compromised the Brigade and made an alliance with Ragan.

Matt leaves & Lane joins Hayden at the hammock. They are worried that there is some kind of power in play in the house but they have both asked DR and still don’t know for sure. Lane surprises me when he tells Hayden that he thinks Britney is sneakier than Ragan.

Throughout the evening, Ragan is taking any opportunity to tell any houseguest how demoralized he is by having to be on slop and having to put up with Brendon or Rachel and how much he feels like crying. Ragan please refer to my previous comments about how humiliated I feel about being on the same planet with Britney and add your name along with demoralized, ok?

DISHGATE begins when Matt tells Britney & Ragan that Brendon did all of the dishes except the Have Not dishes! What an affront to all that is decent and kind in the universe! I hope PHD Ragan finds some way to communicate this atrocity to the International community! This kind of crime against humanity should not be tolerated by any person as kind and loving as Matt, Ragan or Britney. Yeah, and pigs FLY!

Enzo, Lane & Hayden are meeting in twos and telling each other that they have to tell Matt he is leaving, because Matt bullied them into it, saying they won’t have his jury vote if they vote him out without warning him first. Matt really does pull their strings, for now.

Britney, Matt & Ragan spend the next 6 hours bashing Rachel or Brendon. I kid you not. Every single time they are on a feed that is all they have talked about. Every once in awhile Kathy gets thrown into a bitch cycle but otherwise it is all bash Brenchel, all the time.

Hayden decides to put all the pool cues in one of the backyard vases and then whacks them all with the lone remaining pool cue to hilarious, destructive effect. Boys will be boys and the urge to break or bust something has finally won out. Hayden gets called to the DR leaving me to wonder if the cost of the pool cues will be taken out of his stipend.

Matt thinks Hayden is getting called to the DR for a penalty nomination.

Britney has taken over the hammock and Enzo and Matt have joined her. Enzo shows her a dead bug and it freaks her out so much she falls out of the hammock. Funny stuff.

Lane who is ready to punch a bear has a little fight with the BB voice guy, which is pretty funny!

Hayden, Enzo & Brendon in HOH talking about Britney’s beauty not being enough to overcome her bitterness & the mean things she says. Enzo & Brendon agree that even though she is pretty they could only “do her” if they were really drunk. Hayden says she just isn’t his type.

Matt & Ragan are I the communal bathroom, shaving and grooming each other. I am not kidding or being facetious.
Ragan starts talking about the Color Purple and Matt says he has never seen it and is shocked to hear that it is a Steven Spielberg movie.

Matt tells Britney he is going to leave his jolly roger flag at half-mast & Britney says that will just make Ragan collapse & cry if you are evicted. Matt makes Britney promise that she will leave the flag at half-mast for a week if Matt is evicted and the Cappy Clone is complete!

Matt is running around playing the anguished, nervous houseguest on the block, to what effect, I am not sure but it is making him look like a complete ass, knowing he has the DPOV and isn’t going anywhere.

Matt, Lane, Ragan and Britney are in the Jumanji room and I almost choke on my coffee when I hear this little gem from Matt:
“I don’t know what's going on up there, (in the HOH room where Enzo, Hayden and Kathy are talking to Brendon) but it ain't good, there's a fine line between recon and jumping to the other side.

He says this right in front of Britney & Ragan after asking Lane how safe he felt. It is glossed over and they start talking about bathing. Lots of sexual banter from Britney about Ragan & Matt and they play along.

Britney uses this conversation for another chance to detail her sex life with Nick and how he always comes into the bathroom “buck naked” to ask her some silly question, clearly wanting to join her in the shower for some “dirty fun.”

They are not on a lockdown and there is no building in the backyard so the HG’s are convinced that the HOH comp will be a quiz and they are all nervous about it. Britney seems to be in the best position to win any kind of competition that is a quiz about the BB house or the houseguests or events. She remembers conversations verbatim and remembers all of the SAB’s messages & BB announcements. Gorgeous face, brilliant mind, beautiful body and it is a wasted package once she starts talking. Sad, really sad.

Matt goes back to wondering why Hayden and Enzo are staying in the HOH with Brendon so long. Matt is not happy about it and seems to be planting seeds with Lane that the real Brigade alliance is sitting in the Jumanji room: Ragan, Matt, Britney & Lane.

Kathy gets pretty tipsy on her Ambien & Benadryl cocktail and tries to take Enzo’s after shower towel off of him. Enzo is laughing but keeps saying IM NAKED under here!

Brigade meeting in the cabana room seems to calm Matt down for the most part. He was spaying on Enzo & Hayden checking on their location all nite. Hayden tells Matt that Brendon is helping them study cuz he can’t play in the HOH comp & BB won’t use this stuff for anything else. Matt gets very smug and happy and bashes Brendon for breathing the same air that Matt breathes and on & ON & ON.

Hayden & Enzo are pretty torn up that both of their brigade brothers are on the block and there is a little bit of talk about someone having the power to save the brigade but Matt deflects and seems intent on finding out if Enzo & Hayden want to betray him. Napoleon was very paranoid as well!

The guys all agree to keep the remaining 3 Brigade members intact for a Final 3 and promise not to reveal the Brigade on their way out the door. Which I hope means that Hayden & Enzo will lie to Matt on Thursday and tell him he is safe.

The guys do a “final” Brigade DR session and tease Enzo about having a Coup de Meow Meow. Enzo warns Lane & Matt that he will hug & kiss them goodbye and he might even cry a little It is funny & sweet and the guys wander off to bed around 3ish.

As much as Matt is questioning Enzo & Hayden’s loyalty, I just don’t think he is ready to give up on the Brigade or ready to deal with the aftermath of that kind of major shakeup. It would also seriously put in doubt his needed jury votes to win the 500k, so my GUESS is that he is going to use the DPOV on Kathy and cement his place as the Biggest Braggart BB has ever seen, with the tiniest balls.

What do you think will happen tonite? I can’t wait to find out!