A humorous post on things we learned from the HG's of BB11. Mostly satire, mostly.
As Big Brother 11 comes to it's regularly scheduled sunset, it's time to reflect on what, if anything, the Game has taught us as Human Beings.
What have we learned from The Game?
We learned that calling a homosexual a "fag" on National TV is not a good idea and will result in you being voted out first (Braden).
We learned that Laura has really...really... big.... (wait for it)...
We learned that Ronnie the Rat definitely got what he deserved... eventually. We suspect he knows that too.
We learned that calling someone out on National TV as a method to shame the houseguests into keeping you is probably a good idea if you're a black woman with a Diva Complex. However, taking this sense of entitlement to it's logical conclusion and tossing expensive electronic equipment into the pool ... not such a good idea.
We learned that Cookie Dough is very, very fattening. Or at least the Jordan Bashers think so.
We learned to Hate the Banana, Not the Player!
We learned that apparently some folks have the new gizmo 'smell-o-vision' cause they keep complaining about Natalie being so stinky!
We learned that Kevin gives the best DR's, but is a lame gamer. Go figure.
We learned that Russell was all bluff on the 'mop the floor with Jeff in the Jury House' threats. At least we think it's a bluff.
We learned how to make a sex tent so no one can see you, uh, having sex.
We learned we really didn't want to see in the sex tent anyway!
We learned that being a punk chick in tats is not necessarily cool. Especially when your tats are hello kitty stupid!
We learned that telling a lie about your age is not a big deal, but will confound the heck out of the audience as to your intentions in doing so.
We learned that yes, High School Cliques really did suck and the damn Jocks always win everything.
We learned that it's still All Jessie, All the Time. Seriously. It is.
We learned that The Jessie Wake was actually more intense than the Jacko Wake.
We learned that probably the best idea when you make a Final 4 deal is to keep your word and not convince yourself that the other guy is going to cut your throat. Listening to the enemy is not advised.
We learned that Michele has a strategy so complex you need a PhD to understand it! Or else she's a total flake. Take your pick.
We learned that LML stands for Last Minute Lie and that even though it was made up by Kevin, put into action by Kevin and nurtured by Kevin... Natalie will take credit for all of it. Also, we learned that Jeff will fall for it, hook line and sinker.
We learned Jeff was a great Toona Wizard but a not so great HOH God.
We learned that getting HOH is probably going to be a bad thing in the long run.
We learned that in the end, the House Guests are very much human beings, warts and all. Some of us learned that we, the Audience, are also very much human as well... and we shouldn't take ourselves so seriously. Or not.
We learned that after all this time with the Hamsters we cannot stand anything about any of them any longer and just wish they would go away.
But we will be very much jonesing for more Big Brother just as soon as the season ends! And for all those saying "goodbye forever" ... yeah, right... see ya next season... fool!