What the Future Holds for the HG's of Big Brother 11.

1. Ronnie: Ronnie’s wife demands that he get a real job upon leaving the Big Brother house. Since he is especially knowledgeable about computers he applies for a position with the local Geek Squad but his application is rejected on the grounds the geeks think him waaay too big a nerd!

2. Chima: Chima was removed from the Big Brother house and goes on to be removed from a Starbucks, a Piggly Wiggly, a Wal-Mart (twice), a local car wash and the CBS parking lot on finale night.

3. Michelle: Michelle’s life returns to the mundanely normal after leaving the Big Brother house. She returns to her cold sterile lab where she doesn’t have to actually interact with others. She is often seen alone eating lunch in the cafeteria wearing her devil horns and mumbling quietly to herself.

4. Russell: Russell goes on to star in a self-made soft porn movie entitled The Love Muscle, turns out sales are disappointing because his “love muscle” doesn’t quite “measure up”.

5. Braden: Braden becomes Russell’s “stand in” for a re-make of the movie The Love Muscle, copies fly off the shelves.

6. Casey: Casey opens a hugely successful bikini/strip bar in St. Petersburg, Fla. Its name? What else…The Banana Peel.

7. Laura: After being impressed with her ability to “read” people in the Big Brother house, Laura is offered a job as a profiler with the FBI, her code name? Twin peaks.

8. Jordan: Jordan becomes a marketing darling endorsing cookie dough and cookie dough sales skyrocket across North America, in a related story so do memberships to Jenny Craig…Have YOU called Jenny yet?

9. Jessie: Jessie does attain fame of sorts after leaving the BB house. He is entered into the Guinness Book of World Records. He is listed as having the largest measurable ego ever known to man!

10. Jeff: Jeff also goes on to considerable fame after Big Brother as he lands roles in a number of movies. His best part is in a re-make of The Wizard of Oz. Many fans thought that he would star as the wizard in the movie but instead was cast as the straw man. His performance of the song If I Only Had A Brain garners him a Golden Globe nomination.

11. Natalie: Natalie goes on to win Big Brother 11 and with the $500,000 dumps her fiance and finally goes forward with her long desired gender reassignment surgery, after which she changes her name to Nate. She and Jessie hook up and move to Canada where they are legally permitted to wed.

12. Lydia: Lydia begins to drink heavily after learning of “Nate’s” and Jessie’s wedding, she ends up homeless on the streets of Vegas where she is often seen stumbling drunkedly around late at night holding onto (and talking baby talk to) her constant companion, Day-Yum-Yum.

13. Kevin: Kevin comes in second place on Big Brother 11 and wins $50,000. With the winnings he takes a hiatus from his job as a graphic designer to write a book about his Big Brother experience. It is titled: Always a Bridesmaid Never a Bride, Coming in Second Place in the Ridonculous World of Big Brother.