Rodeo Clown 

Typically, there are two destinies for returning Big Brother players: growth and stagnation. Most of our vets will take the road of stagnation, doomed to repeat the same fatal mistakes that sunk their battleships the first time around. They might flirt with growth, and they may even be able to quantify the precise moment when they are reverting to their old not-good-enough-for-this-game self. But they remain powerless to stop it from happening. The stress of the game is too much to bear. 

True growth is a significantly more rarefied club. The bouncer is first-rate deehay. Among its exclusive members, one person stands out in my mind: Jessie “Mr. Pectacular” Godderz. Jessie was viewed as a narcissistic wacko by most of the house on Big Brother 10. But on Big Brother 11, his winkingly outsize personality landed him a post as cult leader of the majority alliance. It was only by the omnipotent hands of a dubiously awarded Coup d'Etát that he was taken out of the game, which of course led to that infamous period of incessant howling and moaning from his female disciples. “He was so good to us!” they would blubber. 

“This ain’t my first rodeo.”—James  

James Huling is an interesting case, inasmuch as he doesn’t fit either of these designations, for James’s game has actually gotten worse. I don’t understand it. I championed some of James’s work last year, and I don’t regret it. Dude played a solid game. His pranks were a scream, bonding him to new allies; he had a knack for winning clutch competitions; and his sensitivity and social intelligence brought out the best in his crew.  

Yet everything that was commendable about James’s game just one year ago has spoiled wholesale. The pranks aren’t funny anymore. They’re mostly insensitive and occasionally mean-spirited. As for competitions, the ones he does win are meaningless; the clutch competitions he either “throws”[1] or disastrously loses 

But worst of all is his effect on his alliance. Once again, his alliance looks up to him, this time as a grizzled veteran. But instead of elevating his team, he vitiates them. 

Michelle and Natalie had an inkling that things were amiss last week. But James did his usual act, deflecting all strategic talk with fatuous jokes.[2] He quelled their fears and encouraged them to take a week off from gameplay, because it’s not as if Victor—the guy who they just evicted—and Paul would try to work out a deal with Nicole and Corey. That would so not happen. They’re probably just talking about life. Sure, that makes sense. 

Let's also bear in mind that Nicole’s HOH reign started merely a few hours after James’s verbal slip up in the kitchen. Paul was confronting Natalie and James about the way they so dishonorably boned him and Victor, to which Natalie replied, "James actually had no influence. He has no influence from where I go.” It’s the kind of lie that is so egregious it exasperates. So in a curious attempt to support Nat Nat, James offers, “I’ll go ahead and throw myself under the bus on this one: [Natalie] really wants Victor to stay.” Of course Nicole was in earshot of this, and Corey happened to be in the freakin’ room!  

James couldn’t see the angles at all. He and Natalie still don’t comprehend it. They blame Nicole and Corey for betraying them, you know, by keeping both of them off of the block[3] and evicting the one person who has been vociferous about evicting Nicole. It was an intelligent move that protected Nicole from all sides, and it was her move to explore being that she won HOH. But an aggressive strike on her alliance with James and Natalie it was not. An aggressive strike would have been what Jatalie did to Victor and Paul or what they were openly considering doing to Corey. 

James used to be a good player. I have no idea what happened here.


Now That’s What I Call Out of Context Quotes Volume 2

Paul: “My throat is always gone, because I scream 80 percent of the day.”

Bridgette: “I wanna see a f**king constellation!”

Frank: “You need to step up your Morse code game, bruh.”

Tiffany: “Do you guys know your Myers-Briggs personalities?”

Natalie: “Can I touch your eyeball?”

Paul: “Hot man ass is my new favorite term.”

Bridgette: “Like my mom always said, ‘F**k these bitches.’”

Frank: “I feel like Disco Stu from The Simpsons.”

Paul: “Dude, if I could be a dog, I would.”

Paulie: “If you don’t like Nickelback, f**k you.”

Bridgette: “We should just talk in weird voices all day; we’re already f**king weirdos.”

Michelle: “Aquariums are like haunted houses to me.”

Jozea: “If there were still kings and queens, I’d think I’d be a king, because I would rule with a nice—you know, give the kingdom what they want.”

Bridgette: “Is there egg in pie crust, America?”

Paul: “My friend threw a pink dildo at someone once.”

Paul: “I threw a dildo at someone’s car once—twice if i’m honest.”

Paulie: “I am a fan of spelling.”

Jozea: “I know, right now, the house loves me. So I’m not gonna be worried. I’m the heart and joy of the house, so the Veto should be used on me to save me and to get me off the block.”

Frank: “I love those little sausage McGriddles they have. It’s like a pancake syrupy bun with sausage in the middle. It’s frickin’ delicious! It’s like eating pancakes and sausage at the same time!”

Bridgette: “I’m not sleeping tonight. F**k sleep.”


[1] It looked like Nicole was going to win that wall comp regardless of what James did. 

[2] The only way to rouse James to action is to arduously pull it out of him. 

[3] James has been on the other end of this deal twice. He opted to put both people he promised he would protect up on the block both times.