Here's the story of 25 ladies
Who were horny for a self made millionaire.
Most of them had hair of gold, Dye job 50,
The youngest one was tipsy.

Here's the story, of a man named Bradley,
Who was busy with four bars he owns,
He was one man with lots of money,
Yet he was all alone.

Till the one day when the ladies met this fellow
And they knew it was much more than a hunch,
That this group would somehow make reality tv.
That's the way they all became the Bradley Bunch.
The Bradley Bunch,

Yeah your singing it now aren't ya....

First off…doesn't he just fry your eggs, charge your battery, fry your bacon and make your teeth sweat...DAAAAAANG! I have to tell you, this man is delicious in every sense of the word for me. I don't know if ABC is spraying Brad hormones out into the atmosphere to create Reality TV in every way shape and anotomically correct form but I know I have one lucky hubby after watching this man...GROWF!!!

The horny's, oops the honey's...

Lori
She states to the camera that she will not cry or get drunk. KISS OF DEATH!!!
Yep, pegged it! No rose.

Sheena
I don’t exactly remember her, but I do remember thinking Shakira? She-Ra?
She gets a rose

Jenni
I noticed her 60's shagadelic outfit as she stepped out of the car and was waiting for a voice over from Austen Powers yelling YEAH BABY!
She gets the first impression rose

Kim
Wow she is right..she is tall.
He couldn't find a ladder to give her a rose..so no rose

Sara
Oh the carefree energy, the way she laughed just like a child. Oh wait...she is a child. She got a rose. I think Brad was scared she was going to go home and tell her mommy if she didn't get one.

Bettina
Sorry you Betty fans but I hope that she gets a hometown date just so I can bust her for not really knowing how to surf. Cowabunga dudes...she gets a rose...knarly.

Jessica
Homeage to Andy...Captain, Lt. Sergaent...Andy...just when I thought a lame pick up line couldn't get any lamer...she uttered those magical words: “They said you were hot, but I didn’t know I would need a fire extinguisher!”
Status: No rose Quick dial 911!!!

Morgan
Webbed toes? Maybe if you are Daffy Duck, Donald Duck, even the Howard the Duck, heck a Labrador Retriever..but why Morgan? Why?
Yeah right...like she got a rose (that's dispiciable)

Rigina
Who? Oh yeah...Miss Brown Sugar? Sorry honey, sugar melts in the rain..SNAP! No rose.

Erin
I want to know how she broke her face twice? First time shame on you...second time shame on her...think she learned her lesson? Or after the make up comes off it's actually Michael Jackson under it all???
Rose (just because like you and me, Brad wants to know how it happened, and then he boots her)

Tauni
Why did she do a booty pop in Brads face again? Anyone at all? Hello?
No rose for either cheek

DeAnna
“It’s DeAHnna” Crap my tv color wheel broke and it's now in black and white, quick adjust the horizontal hold..oh wait...That's a dress?
Rose

Juli (no e mind you)
Anyone have some cheese to go with that pretzel? No rose


McCarten
Ladies and gentleman, drum roll please...can I please introduce to your, our one, our only...that's right...Psycho for the series....MCCARTEN...applause.
Rose

Susan
Who?No rose

Lindsey
She sang the "Yellow Rose of Texas" while wearing a yellow dress, with her yellow hair and gave a yellow rose to Bradley. My carpet turned yellow from my jack rusell peeing on the floor and running away in fear.
Yeah she got one

Jade
Give me a sec? I am still cleaning up the pee stain...
She got a rose

Kristy
Okay ladies..admit it, when she asked Brad to stick out his tongue, I swear to you I thought she was going to lick it right then and there. That's good tv...
Rose (heck yeah)

Solisa
Boobs. Boobs and oh yeah. BOOBS! From here on out..Booblisa or Sotitsa?
Rose stem placed firmly between her horizontal smile

Stephy
Citizen of the world. Save the Bachelorette save the world? Huh?
Rose

Hillary
Blonde, freckles, Pippy longstocking after spending a day in Beverly Hills?
She gets a rose

Natalie
Ummmmmmmm (Facts of life?? oh no wait a minute...)
Nope

Michelle
Hey, I'm still working on Natalie...
Rose apparently

Mallory
“You should take your pants off.” Come out of your shell sweetheart, it's okay, no body here will hurt you. It's okay...
Rose (to the occassion...yeppers)

Melissa
Sweetness! Attention all units, we have an APB out on a left breast, size 36 C, may be being used as a candy dish...Oh wait we found it! Sweetness! Just sweetness. Why she had to go, I just can't figure it out?
No rose and I am sure the ABC intern is now selling her cutlets on EBAY.

So there it is gals. Looks like it's going to be a good season. Name calling, stripping, hot tubbing, alcohol, a little more alcohol...falling down stairs (I wonder if she took lessons from Bevin last season) thinking this is sure to get me a rose...oh wait, didn't that happen in the OMEN too?

Oh and happy day, we have Chad, hunky Chad, looks like his brother Brad..

And now in closing...my ode to Dr. Seuss...

I would like to be Bad with Chad. I would like to be Bad with Brad. I would like to be Bad with Chad and Brad. This would make me Glad.

Thank you and good night.