A great deal of speculation has been made about the nature of Jeff & Jordan’s relationship, if there is a relationship & why they are even in the Big Brother House when Jordan clearly seems to be disgusted with the whole process & Jeff has turned into a grayer, sexier, albeit meaner, version of his former self.

This is my take on that.

The first time they played Big Brother in Season 11, neither of them knew anything about Big Brother. Jordan, a nice protestant girl from the suburbs of Charlotte was found working as a server in a mall restaurant & had never seen a single episode of the show. Jeff, a nice Italian catholic boy from the suburbs of Chicago was chasing the Hollywood dream & like several other BB cast members, he was sent in by his agent & went thru a different casting process than most of the other houseguests & had no idea what his agent had gotten him into.

Nirvana is reached only by releasing all desire & this time Nirvana escapes them daily because they WANT, big time.

This time, they came in because Jordan wants to win & Jeff wants to win Jordan.
According to her conversations with Rachel & Shelly & Jeff, Jordan talked Jeff into coming back this time, not the other way around. She wants it for several different reasons & it is boggling her mind to try to figure out how to do it, because she knows no one is going to let her “cute & dumb” her way to the 500g’s like last time.

At the same time, production is trying to script this season more than most of the previous ones because they want to please the public & keep Les Moonves & his wife, super happy. This time, they want a happy ending. Someone at Big Brother is tired of being the trashy step sister to Survivor. No more druggies who use their winnings to get busted on drug charges, no more ethically challenged botox freaks or questionable restaurant owners with genital warts. No more nurses that openly brag about withholding pain meds from patients they don’t like, I’m talking about you Maggie BB6! No more of these freaks, Big Brother wants a winner they can brag about; an abandoned daughter with a rough exterior that hides a heart of gold or America‘s Sweetheart & the love of her life that she just happened to meet in the Big Brother house.

Clearly that last sentence was not referencing Brendon & Rachel. Obvi to everyone but them, they were brought in to make Jeff & Jordan look that much more golden. They are Kenickie & Betty to Jeff & Jordan’s Danny & Sandy. Brendon & Rachel‘s skankalicious escapades played out nite & day for the world to watch while Jeff & Jordan act like the prom king & queen from a 50‘s Sandra Dee movie. A Summer Place for the new millennium, without the inconvenient unplanned pregnancy & with the pretty blonde heroines hymen still seemingly intact. We‘ve come a long way baby, just to find out that chastity, affection, true love & purity have more appeal than undercover hand jobs & discernibly turgid skyped peni.

During season 11, Jeff & Jordan acted like they had accidentally knocked on the wrong bed & breakfast. Remember, Jeff got kicked out of his alliance simply because he wanted to make a tuna sandwich rather than strategize with Jesse & co. Now, they are actually trying to play the game but are woefully unskilled at subterfuge & class warfare. Oh, Jeff knows a thing or two about street rumbles & internet porn but he also knows that kind of mugging is for backroom pokers games and not welcome in good homes from golden boys. So he happily plays his role, the one he was born to, knowing it is what catholic boys morph into anyway, if they are lucky enough to survive their wild days.

As for their personal relationship, read some of the late nite updates & you will hear all about their love for each other, their frustration about wanting to touch each other but not wanting it to be on TV & their confusion over why in the hell they decided to do this again..........& the main reason, in my opinion, is that Jordan wants her "man" to win some healthy bucks so he feels more established as a man. He is thirty-something & comes from a tight-knit family with a heavy duty work ethic & they don't know what to make of Jeff being unmarried & unemployed & on top of that, Jeff doesn't know what to make of it either. So many opportunities seized with nothing to show for it, so many hands shook & deals made & still he is no closer to having the seed money to start his own cooking show or bring his mouth watering giardiniera recipe to your local supermarket.

He is dazed & confused & frustrated & way too conscious of how much the winning money could change his life. He came in saying he just wanted to make it to jury & spend the summer with his woman but he keeps running in & out of Humphrey Bogart movie roles like a pinball being played by the wizard. One minute he’s Philip Marlowe, charming, quick witted & making an easy mark of the blonde dame & then suddenly he’s Dobbs, ruining his life in the dusty hills, searching for the Treasure of the BB House, knowing it will ruin him if he gets it but wanting it just the same & just when you‘ve given up on him & words like bully & entitlement escape your lips he turns into Charlie Allnutt, a lonely confused man who has made the worst decision of his life but it has earned him the love of a good woman & he knows that is all this man will ever need.

But, he still has worries. He wants to know how he is going to support this doe-eyed pixie that makes him laugh & makes his stomach knot all at the same time, this not-so-innocent-as-you-think pioneer woman. The one he has grown to love & wants to marry & build a life with & have children with. But, he is an unemployed idiot, in his own mind & won't pursue a lasting commitment until he can provide for her. That is the way it is done where he comes from. Jordan knows this & Jeff knows this & life is hard & true love sure ain’t easy.

So they are both just twisting, in their heads, in the house, all the time, on our feeds!

Some of this is conjecture, some of this is guessing, some of it is hope that somehow these crazy kids will find a way to live happily ever after & in doing so, redeem some of the filth & crime & debauchery that is the typical Big Brother legacy.

I wish them well & thank them for no boogering on TV. I think all the networks could learn a little something from their determination, their love & their chastity. Sex doesn't always sell but the world, well the world will always welcome love, as time goes by.............

Please note: Author regrets using the term UNemployed in reference to Jeff & would like it to read UNDERemployed.